Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Buffalo Chip
Im pretty sure that place sucked.
The last night I was there a few folks with access to a mini bike and a golf cart thought it would be rad to knock over an illegal (to the chip) burn barrel and start jumping over the barrel, the fire, and at times a dude and a hot canadian chick. Id guess there were about 20 folks watching or participating while the sun was just starting to make the east side of our great country light up. So after a hour or so of entertainment the golf cart makes a sweet jump and out of nowhere the Buffalo chip Swat team shows up. HAHAH these guys were such choads.
I was pretty hammered while this was going down so the story could be different, but in my head it was pretty funny. 3 ATV's full of tuff guys roll up with radios and and buffalo chip shirts. They are asking questions like "who the fuck did this? Which one of you guys set this on fire? OH MY GOD WHERES THE WATER TO PUT IT OUT ARE YOU GUYS INSAINE???????!!!" They cornered a couple of different guys and questioned them about what had happened. I watched one follow a dude with a splitknot shirt on to his tent he go's in and the Swat guy was like "sir I still need to talk to you could you please exit the tent?" and the dude in the tent was like "sorry I cant hear you". The cop dude came up to me and said "who's camp is this? I don't know Im here to watch the sunrise. Well you enjoyed the fire along with everybody else. Who set the fire? No idea bro I just got here to watch the sunrise.. OH WELL NOBODY WANTS TO TALK!!!!! He huffs a couple times because I guess Drunk folks at 5 am are supposed to be easier to talk to in South Dakota. He then tells one of his peons to grab the illegal glass in the camp. (i started recording this with the phone) So they rifle through 3 coolers and pick up I believe about 4 bottles of beer then complain about not having a bag to put them in so they stopped that. While that one dude was ganking beer the head dude looks at me and says something like "Thats a good idea I better record all these license plates, so when i figure out who set this fire I can send them the $500 arson ticket. When the EMT showed up I grabbed the key out of my bike, so they didn't steal that too, shot the head guy a dirty look and wondered off to sleep. At some point in all that I remember doing the old Hawaii Five O theme song.
Just an FYI there were several coolers full of water and trailer hook ups everywhere with water.
The chip had to have sucked for the Limpdicky venders and the magazine. They were set up in a spot where there was zero foot traffic during the day. You know where you want the folks to see your shiny nice bikes and parts you have for sale. Some of these venders traveled along way to sell 3 shirts. I'd bet that it int the same next year. I just cant see the pairing of that group with the musical acts of yesteryear such as BuckCherry, Tesla, Poison, Gregg Allman and Toby Keith.
I did however invent a new game. Its called Douche Bag Pinata. Theres a zip line that cross's over the "party spot" over the chip and i guess they can have groups of 4 go across at the same time. Well I found it very liberating to yell obscenities at them as they flew over our heads. Great times there with all the LED covered road kings women dressed like hookers riding bitch on the back of said road kings.
Another positive was the folks I hung out with that week. Of course they weren't a product of the Buffalo Chip. I met these 2 crazy bastards named Tim and Mo. They were like watching the movie The Odd Couple but they were both Oscar's. At some point I think they got mad at each other and one of them was like"fuck it im going to Alaska" and he hopped on his scooter and fucked off. It was great I hope I meet up with them dudes again.
Big Thank you to Chris and Cyclesource magazine for letting me sleep in the big red trailer and the ticket to get into the show. Proof that no matter where we are we will find a way to have fun. Thanks to the Cycle Boys (more on them), and everyone else who made it a good time.